Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Let me just let out a loud scream!
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
you felt so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing!
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
copyrighted. just a plain one.
im crying and crying nonstop. Not exactly the right mood to blog. I'm very very depressed. Sorry =((
i'm emo @ 10:28 PM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
A thought-provoking question for you guys.
Why do we girls try to emulate those kind of girls that we see on the streets, who have, let's face it, slightly ahlian fashion sense, and rebonded hair PLUS a great figure?
The reality is sad. Most of these girls suffer from LOW, LOW BMI's. They're not even at the required body weight! I understand about being thin, and having a great figure, I suppose. One of a girl's most important assets is her figure. But some people are just losing weight for the wrong reason. We're supposed to keep slim, and be healthy. Not be slim so that we can attract guys.
And one thing I simply cannot stand, are those ahlian girls who all look like clones of each other. Please lah, they're like the Malaysian version of the Plastics. Reonded hair, nice figure, and daggers shooting from their eyes at every opportunity. I simply can't understand why guys prefer to woo these kind of useless girls. Have some brains! I'm sorry if this entry upset any of you, but you guys have gotta face the reality.
The world is mean to those who don't wear a size S, have nice hair, a great figure, and the all important factor, being PRETTY. I mean, what's the deal with that? Just that day, my friend commented that among all of our friends, this girl was the prettiest. I might admit that it's true, but some guys honestly... ARGH. I don't even know how to say this. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholders, but I gotta say that guys in my town? Their eyes are crap, i tell ya. And, I have yet to see a guy woo a girl who is smart, and not-so-pretty. Not insulting guys in general, just guys in my town. Which truly proves what a suaku town this is.
Ahlian clothes are considered gorgeous, and you MUST (( and i stress on the word 'MUST' )) have rebonded hair and clear skin, else you won't be on the popularity list. Can't a girl be popular cos she's smart? Like the old adage, guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses. Hell, I think that attitude perfectly describes my town.
In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, I simply cannot wait to leave this little hick town, and get to Australia, where hopefully! There are more open-minded people.
Which brings me to another interesting question.
Why can't a girl, let's say after she has been to camp, hug a guy friend, whom she got to know and be friends with during camp?
Let me just stress that the point of this post is to gripe about this little hick town of mine.
Okay, so what is so wrong with that? Just last year, I sat with one of my guy best friends at tuition. People will either go,
"You like him ah?" or, "She's such a slut."
Take your pick. It's either one of the above. It's never,
"Why can't I find a friend who is close to me like those two?"
What is up with these people? Just one word for you, PLATONIC.
It means a purely friend relationship, in case you didn't know. What's wrong with hugging your guy friend whom you have known for 5 years? Just touching him will get you branded as hiao, OR they will start teasing you mercilessly about your new crush.
Which honestly proves my point. Muar is a small suaku town, and it could do better if we could just all be more open-minded and not take beauty as oh-so-important.
I wonder. You usually can't generalise with people, but I have to say, that an ugly guy can get a pretty girlfriend, but an ugly girl can't even get ANY boyfriend.
I declare a state of emergency in this town.
Don't judge a book by its cover, people, it's been a thought-provoking day.
And I just wanna say, it rocks to be back =)).
I'm proud of myself. My BMI is a healthy 18.6, which might seem FAT to girls here, but well, it rocks =pPp
i'm emo @ 1:05 AM
Friday, March 03, 2006
Yay! How does it feel to see me back? I gotta tell you, it feels pretty darn good. I can feel tears filling up already. Oh... Hah. The drama queen is back. BACK, i tell you. People have been hounding me for months. Chareli, Dora, Amelia. Everyone. And I can't imagine why I even let my blog die in the first place. So, I haven't been keeping up with my blog in months.
So today's highly anticipated post (( well, anticipated by me, at least )) will be about my latest photoshop works. not to show off, but rather, for people to steal. I'm thinking of changing my web address and make this site an artwork site. There's no creative outlet for me to plug in my photoshop works =((.
And btw, speaking of artwork, don't you love the chad michael murray skin? MMMM, it looks better than the previous one, although I didn't put much effort into this one. Kudos to myself. * claps self-obsessedly *
I actually haven't been sitting on my buttocks doing nothing for nearly two months. I've still visited everyone's blog AND my own from time to time. And nonstop photoshopping works. What can I say? My obsession with photoshop is bordering on freaky (:
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Some of them are rather ugly, and if you don't like them, well, more power to you! (:
And the next section is about my photoshopped stuff. They aren't really nice, as I don't usually put much effort into editing, unless it's for a purpose.
A rather shitty Ashlee THING that I did, like, MONTHS ago, but totally had no chance to post. On another note, though, I'm glad I arranged all my editings in order, like ashlee 1 and ashlee 2. much easier (:
i tried to make it like my Eva Longoria one, but sadly, I failed. If any of you noticed, I left colour on her clothes. Sorta pointing out that she dares to be different. Her clothes rock =)).
I did this one in ten minutes flat. It really isn't supposed to be one of my photoshop works, cos I did it for my English scrapbook. Teacher loved it! METHINKS. quack quack =D
I so love this. The colour contrast (( the one on the right )) is so stunning. me loves it.
I did this recently. Trying to evoke a grungy feel. Has anyone noticed that Hilary got slim? I think she looked better when she was fat. Her face slimmed down too, and she looks kinda twiggy in the face. Like she was impoverished or summat. (( Do I sound like Hagrid? =pPp ))
Before I go on, some people must be thinking, what the freak is wrong with this girl? Photoshop freakkkk. Well, I just feel out of touch. I'll blog about substantive topics after this. PEACE.
'Nuff said, zilians.
Kinda bad layout. The colours aren't good. But if I DO turn this site into an art site, my header would be summat like this. (( Again, Hagrid. ))
A reallyreallyreally simple one. Just transforming, linear gradient and one flower brush. wooo (:
Before I made the chadmm skin yesterday, I was seriously considering putting this as my skin header. She's so thin! But not twiggy like Nicole.
TWIG. Actually, i'd rather be fat like me than twiggy like her (:
I can't blog too much after this. My mum is making noise! I have to get offline, and we're going to Melaka for auntie's bday. See you guys, and I hope this entry will keep you satiated for a while.
And my hit counter reached a thousand! -_-
i'm emo @ 6:11 PM